it's nothing personal, extend grace

I know it's easy and natural to take offense to a person's lack of interest or availability when it comes to relationships (any type). After all, we're conditioned to make it all about us. How dare you forget this, treat me this way, talk to me like that, etc.? The reality is that majority of the time, the behavior has zero to do with us and everything to do with them. The intent wasn't to be malicious towards us. They probably just had so much going on that their stuff, whatever it was, took precedence over ours. When you think about it, that's quite alright. They are making themselves the priority. After all, if you don't take care of yourself, who will? Disclaimer: I don't mean that people should behave selfishly. I'm not excusing the fact that we can simply communicate what limitations we have when it comes to others. We should not excuse poor habitual behaviors, especially when they've been addressed and discussed. My point is that we're human and sometimes, we just simply forget, or have to focus on handling our own stuff in certain ways to maintain sanity. We all cope differently, sometimes in healthy ways and other times, in not so healthy ways. That's the reality of being a flawed human being. This blog post is about recognizing that whatever is going on with others, likely has nothing to do with you. It's best not to take it personally. Given all this, I've listed some common cases in which we can choose to extend grace rather than making it about us. Of course this doesn't happen overnight. It requires some unlearning, practice, and prayer for patience and understanding. At least, I know it does for me.

We can extend grace:

1. When someone can't attend an event you invited them to.

They simply may not be able to afford it, or it may conflict with another previously

scheduled priority on their calendar-- even something like taking time to rest. What's a

priority for you may not be what's a priority for them.

2. When someone doesn't call you back immediately.

They might be on the other line having a long conversation, or they may be washing dishes and have made a mental note to call you back later.

3. When someone doesn't text you back immediately.

Perhaps they're in a meeting at work. Perhaps they are watching TV and not glued to the

phone.

4. When someone forgets to check in a few days after you share unfortunate news with them.

Something unfortunate may have sprung up on them so they're dealing with that.

Sometimes emergencies pop up and consume all of your headspace.

5. When someone doesn't offer you help in the way you want them to.

They may not have the means, nor the time.

6. When someone doesn't share heavy news with you.

It might be a burden for them to discuss and put them in a negative mental and emotional

state. To keep trudging along, it's easier for them not to discuss it.

What other examples can you think of where we can choose to extend grace off the bat, rather than making someone else's choices about us? Again, I'm not referring to habitual, inconsiderate behaviors that have been addressed with an individual. We all have SO much going on in our day-to-day and adulting thing is not easy. Life isn't fair and everything can't happen when and how we want it to. Let's try and take a step back rather than unnecessarily building up negative thoughts and emotions based on things that truly may have nothing to do with us. I'm constantly trying to practice this and it's not always easy. Let me know your thoughts and comments below on this topic.