I Don't Want Your Hints

Who likes to play the guessing game when it comes to interactions with other people? I certainly don't, hence the title of this post. Games are for children. I've learned that they're also for adults who aren't comfortable enough in flat out stating where they stand with others. I get that we may not want to hurt someone else's feelings. We also don't want to feel the backlash of whatever disappointment comes as a result of keeping it 100, but umm, we all know how to speak right? Use your words. As one of the BFF's stated, "You learned to talk as a toddler. Spare me the regression." Yes, we know that actions speak louder than words, but sweetie, good communication skills can help us out in this adult life. Communicating directly can help us fail fast by allowing us to get to where we want to be quicker. Drop the dead weight and on to the next opportunity. It can also help accelerate our successes if all parties are on the same page, AKA let's take this to another level.

I don't want your hints (in my "Friday Night Lights" voice). I'll spare a little grace given that I know at times, we can begin behaving differently while processing things, even without our own awareness; however, once it's brought to our attention, we need to take a moment to self-assess. Is there truth to what the other person is saying? Our behavior may be coming off as though we're trying to give hints when that's not really our intention. Once we take a day or so to self-assess, I strongly believe we can communicate what we're feeling-- even if it's uncertainty. Believe it or not, to say "I'm feeling uncertain about things," is information. With this, we allow the other person to make decisions for themselves.

For the truly immature who want to play games, GET YOUR LIFE and perhaps some therapy-- real talk. Take a closer look at the "why's"and you may find there are some underlying deep-rooted issues, AKA you're not truly comfortable in your skin . There's no reason why at 30 something and older, you should feel uneasy about being upfront. UNLESS, UNLESS, UNLESS you want to uphold an image that obviously doesn't reflect the real you, or you want to control the outcome. Maybe you're uncomfortable making your desires known because you don't believe they're good enough or valid? Maybe you're fearful of a person disliking you for your choices? Maybe you're afraid of being cut off indefinitely? Or maybe you're afraid of how they'll view you? I'm sure there are more reasons, but those stand out to me. Some might say they'd rather give hints because people are crazy, but let's be real. Are they really crazy or are you just saying that to make yourself feel better about not having the cojones to be up front? And how long were you around Crazy before you realized they were crazy? The point is that we should be comfortable enough with ourselves to be forthcoming. Leaving others to figure out where we stand with our hints is not what's up. Ain't nobody got time for that (unless they make clear that they love hints and trying to figure out where you stand). Most of us can put two and two together, but why go through all of that when we can just use our words?

Take some time to think about the last time you went on a hinting streak and ask yourself what was really the root reason as to why you did it. Let's discuss below in the comments section-- are you the hint giving type or the upfront type? Does it depend and why?